The Right Way to Give Negative Feedback to Your Manager

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Abstract: This article examines the delicate art of providing negative feedback to supervisors in professional settings. While potentially uncomfortable, well-delivered constructive criticism plays a vital role in fostering healthy workplace relationships and organizational improvement. The article presents a comprehensive framework for effective upward feedback, including preparation strategies (private settings, specific examples, positive intent), delivery techniques (using "I" statements, balancing positives with improvement areas, solution-focused approaches), and guidance for managers receiving criticism. Through practical examples and a case study from Anthropic, the article demonstrates how thoughtful, respectful feedback conversations can transform potential conflict into opportunities for growth, ultimately strengthening professional relationships and enhancing organizational performance when approached with preparation, empathy, and a collaborative mindset.

As an employee, giving negative feedback to your manager can feel uncomfortable and risky. However, done effectively, providing candid feedback is an important part of a healthy working relationship and promotes organizational learning and improvement.

Today we will explore proven best practices for delivering constructive criticism to management in a respectful way.

Setting the Stage for Productive Discussion

The first step is preparing appropriately by choosing an appropriate time and location to have the discussion privately. Memos or emails should generally be avoided as the more personal approach helps build understanding. Schedule time with your manager when they are not rushed and find a private, quiet place to talk.

It is also important to enter the conversation with the right mindset. Your goal should be fostering improvement, not attacking the other person. Come prepared with specific, observable examples rather than vague generalizations (Friedman, 2021). Organize your thoughts beforehand and keep an open, non-defensive attitude. Remember that everyone makes mistakes - focus on behaviors and impacts, not character judgments.

Finally, assure your manager you bring the feedback out of a desire to help, not hurt. Reiterate your commitment to the team and its goals. Establishing trust and good faith from the start will make the criticism more palatable and productive.

Delivering the Message Effectively

When presenting negative feedback, use "I" statements to own your perspective rather than accusations that put the other person on the defensive (Cox et al., 2019). For example, say "I felt unsupported during our last project" rather than "you never supported me."

Start with what is going well to provide context and build confidence. Then focus the bulk of discussion on specific, fact-based examples of where improvement is needed (Honeywell & Minick, 2021). For instance, "We've had great success hitting our quarterly targets. An area I think could be strengthened is project planning. Last month's launch was rushed because the timeline kept slipping. In one meeting, decisions seemed to be made without all the information."

Adopt a constructive, solution-focused tone throughout. Ask open-ended questions to understand perspectives rather than making demands. For example, ask "How can we shore up our planning process going forward?" rather than stating "We need a better planning process." Cooperate to find mutually agreeable changes rather than independently devising solutions (Maylett, 2019).

Providing concrete suggestions and offering your help implementing solutions demonstrates willingness to problem-solve rather than just complain (Steelman & Wolfeld, 2018). For instance, "Would it be useful to implement a standardized template and review checkpoints? I'm happy to help develop something we all find useful."

Receiving Feedback Graciously

As a manager, remain open-minded and allow the employee to fully explain their perspective before responding. Express appreciation for their honesty and effort to improve things through respectful dialogue. Resist defensiveness and do not interrupt (Lencioni, 2006).

Thank the individual for bringing concerns to you privately rather than allowing unresolved issues to fester or spreading negativity elsewhere. Ask thoughtful follow up questions to deepen understanding of how their experience aligns or misaligns with your own view (Steelman & Wolfeld, 2018).

Evaluate suggestions on their merits rather than the messenger. Even if you disagree, acknowledge pain points or opportunities identified. Recognize both positive and negative feedback as opportunities for growth (Heller, 2020). Express willingness to consider all viewpoints thoughtfully.

Discuss next steps openly while maintaining ownership over final decisions. Compromise where reasonable and establish accountability/timelines if changes are to be made. Close by thanking the employee again for their candor and partnership in constant improvement efforts.

Following Through Effectively

In the aftermath, circulate a summary of discussion points and action items to demonstrate transparency. Monitor progress periodically and provide constructive status updates. Solicit additional perspectives from colleagues as needed for balanced understanding.

If aspects of the criticism were unfounded or behavioral changes seem unwarranted, have another caring discussion explaining reasoning thoughtfully rather than dismissal. Maintain respect and avoid resentment (Lombardi, 2018).

Express continued confidence in the employee's commitment to excellence regardless of specific outcome. Recognizing courage to challenge respectfully strengthens bonds of trust far beyond any single issue (Heller, 2020). With open communication, even difficult feedback nurtures closer partnerships able to weather challenges together.

Case Study: Constructive Criticism at Anthropic

Anthropic is an AI safety research company aiming to ensure beneficial outcomes from advanced technologies like general artificial intelligence. As an AIALIGN Director of Responsible Research, you provided feedback to the CEO regarding project prioritization challenges your team faced.

You scheduled a private meeting, entering with an open mindset. Sharing two recent examples, you explained feeling some initiatives lacked clear goals and timelines, risking distraction from core objectives. However, you also highlighted progress made in other areas thanks to leadership support.

Rather than demands, you asked how collaboration could be improved to better balance exploration with focus. The CEO listened attentively without interruption, thanked you for candor, and agreed timelines occasionally slipped. They discussed exploring project templates together and establishing quarterly planning sessions for coordinated priority-setting. You offered help piloting new processes.

In follow up emails recapping next steps and accountability, transparency was maintained. Monthly check-ins later found improvements while also surfacing new considerations addressed cooperatively. Both parties felt the respectful two-way dialogue strengthened understanding and partnership for Anthropic's important work.

Providing constructive feedback requires courage and skill. But with preparation, empathy and solution-focused discussion, even difficult criticisms can uplift relationships and organizational performance for the better. Adopting practices of openness, understanding and partnership transforms challenging conversations into opportunities for growth on both individual and systemic levels.

Conclusion

Giving negative feedback to management should not be avoided, but rather approached as a chance to foster closer relationships and drive positive change. With care, respect and focus on improving outcomes rather than assigning blame, criticism can make work environments safer for candor and learning. While uncomfortable, having the courage to provide truthful yet tactful input in service of organizational success benefits everyone involved. Remember - the goal is not to attack others, but partner with them through honest dialogue to continually progress together towards shared objectives. Done right, even difficult discussions become a privilege of trust that strengthens organizations and the communities they serve.

References

1. Friedman, M. (2021, March 29). How to Give Feedback to Your Manager the Right Way. Harvard Business Review.

2. Cox, E., Bachkirova, T., & Clutterbuck, D. (2019). The Complete Book of Coaching. Sage Publications.

3. Honeywell, A., & Minick, P. (2021, January 21). 4 tips for having an effective feedback conversation with your manager. Harvard Business Review.

4. Maylett, T. (2019). The Feedback Fix: Dump the Past, Upgrade Your Future, and Master the Feedback Skill That Determines Success. Viva Editions.

5. Steelman, L. A., & Wolfeld, L. (2018). The Manager's Guide to Effective Coaching: Conversations That Get Extraordinary Results. AMACOM.

6. Lencioni, P. (2006). Silos, Politics and Turf Wars: A Leadership Fable About Destroying the Barriers That Turn Colleagues Into Competitors. Jossey-Bass.

7. Heller, R. (2020). Feedback that Works: How to Build and Deliver Your Message. Penguin Random House.

8. Lombardi, M. A. Jr. (2018). When Bad Feedback Happens to Good People: How to Renew Commitment to Personal and Organizational Growth. Worthy Publishing.(1), 101622.

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Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.

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Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2025). The Right Way to Give Negative Feedback to Your Manager. Human Capital Leadership Review, 22(3). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.22.3.6