How Perfectionists Can Get Out of Their Own Way

Listen to this article:

Abstract: This article explores perfectionism as a double-edged sword among successful professionals, examining how the relentless pursuit of flawlessness can both drive achievement and sabotage progress. It distinguishes between self-oriented and socially prescribed perfectionism while detailing how these tendencies manifest in workplace behaviors such as analysis paralysis, procrastination, diminished creativity, and fear of failure. Through personal examples and research-backed strategies, the article presents practical approaches for transforming perfectionistic tendencies into constructive forces, including setting flexible process-oriented goals, practicing self-compassion, challenging all-or-nothing thinking, and celebrating incremental progress. The article ultimately advocates for a balanced leadership approach that channels the drive for excellence while embracing imperfection as essential to growth, innovation, and sustainable success.

Perfectionism is an inward struggle that many successful professionals grapple with. While the desire to do things right can drive higher performance, taking perfectionism to an extreme can become detrimental and hold us back from our full potential. As leaders, we must learn to manage this tendency in a healthy way so that it enhances our work rather than inhibits it.

Today we will explore the nature of perfectionism and how it can get in the way.

Understanding Perfectionism

Before addressing how perfectionism holds us back, it is important to understand what perfectionism fundamentally is. At its core, perfectionism involves the belief that anything short of flawless is unacceptable. It is the tendency to regard anything short of perfection as a failure.

Research shows there are two main types of perfectionism:

• Self-oriented perfectionism refers to holding extremely high personal standards and basing self-worth on meeting those standards. This type of perfectionism stems from a need for control and fear of failure.

• Socially prescribed perfectionism refers to perceiving that significant others have unrealistic standards that must be met. It involves beliefs that others will not approve or accept unless things are perfect.

Both forms involve unrealistic expectations and harsh self-criticism if mistakes are made. Perfectionists continuously strive to avoid imperfection and are reluctant to finalize tasks unless convinced they are flawless.

While perfectionism springs from a motive to excel, it creates psychological distress and undermines enjoyment of achievements. Constant worrying over making mistakes and facing criticism takes a mental and emotional toll. It is also simply not realistic or sustainable in the complex, unpredictable world we operate in.

How Perfectionism Gets In The Way

Let's explore some common ways perfectionism gets in the way of optimal functioning and progress:

• Paralysis. The fear of failure and making a mistake causes analysis paralysis. Perfectionists spend too long deliberating options before starting a task in a misguided effort to minimize risk of errors. In turn, this stalls progress and important deadlines are frequently missed.

• Procrastination. Similarly, the inability to tolerate imperfection leads to chronic procrastination. Tasks are left unfinished or only partially complete because subconsciously, imperfection is seen as preferable to criticism that may come with a failed attempt.

• Limited creativity. With a fixation on rules and templates, original thinking requiring experimentation is hampered. Perfectionists are reluctant to embrace novel solutions that may involve elements of trial and error. Their mindset prioritizes replication over ingenuity.

• People-pleasing. A belief that one's worth depends on meeting others' expectations pushes perfectionists to constantly seek reassurance and validation. This undermines confidence and dilutes authentic leadership presence as attention is directed externally rather than inward self-trust.
  

• Fear of failure. The impact of a single imperfection looms so large in a perfectionist's mind that fear of failure prevents them from striving for meaningful stretch goals where outcomes are uncertain. New opportunities that hold potential for growth but involve risk are too threatening.

• Diminished enjoyment. Through harsh self-criticism, perfectionists often fail to appreciate their accomplishments. They are seldom satisfied or able to savor successes due to an intense focus on perceived shortcomings rather than strengths. This takes a mental toll and diminishes quality of life.

Let's explore how perfectionism showed up in my work through a specific example. As a project manager at a healthcare startup, I exhibited classic perfectionist tendencies like lengthy planning, missed deadlines, and diminished confidence speaking to stakeholders. By openly reflecting on my perfectionist habits with my manager and incorporating tips from research, I was able to make adjustments that positioned me better for leadership.

Managing Perfectionism Constructively

The key is to redirect perfectionistic tendencies constructively rather than eliminate them completely. With effort and practice, perfectionists can develop mindsets that channel their motivation to excel in a balanced, sustainable manner. Here are some practical strategies supported by research:

Set Flexible, Process-Oriented Goals

Rather than outcome-focused performance standards, establish goals focused on growth and the behaviors/effort put in. For example, "gather thorough feedback from three stakeholders" vs. "achieve a perfect outcome the first time". Process goals reduce anxiety over external approval and put emphasis on learning through small wins.

Practice Self-Compassion

Perfectionists are extremely self-critical but learn to accept imperfection and mistakes with compassion. When errors happen, self-talk should acknowledge the learning and focus on next steps rather than magnifying flaws. Self-esteem depends more on effort than flawless performance.

Challenge All-Or-Nothing Thinking

See tasks on a continuum rather than a binary choice between perfection and failure. Most work involves a mix of strengths and areas to improve. Positive self-talk acknowledges progress made and the learning involved, rather than obsessing over missed standards.

Prioritize Completion Over Perfection

Often, 90% completion well in time holds more value than a perfect result delivered late. Break large projects into actionable steps and aim to complete something rather than spend excessively revising a single component. Early feedback allows course-correction.

Learn From, Not Fear, Mistakes

View mistakes not as signs of failure but as feedback to enhance skills over time through experimentation. A growth mindset understands ability increases with experience gained from imperfect attempts. Perfectionists are encouraged to try more rather than dwell on potential flaws.

Let's consider applying these strategies in my project manager role at the healthcare startup. Rather than extreme outcome goals like a flawless product launch, I set incremental process goals for each stage such as gathering three stakeholder perspectives or testing key features. I also focused conversations on forward progress rather than past flaws through reminders of what I was continuing to learn.

Savor Small Wins and Recognize Effort

Make a daily habit of appreciating something done well or a small step completed, even if not perfectly. Perfectionists diminish quality of life by fixating solely on shortcomings. Shifting this attention pattern strengthens self-esteem and motivation over the long-term despite setbacks.

Limit Revising and Editing

Constant reworking is inefficient and overlooks the law of diminishing returns. After two rounds of revision, it's best to trust work is good enough despite imperfections and get feedback from others. Outside input and moving forward allows improving the next version rather than perfecting the last.

Ask for Help and Accept Imperfection in Others

Perfectionists often believe help implies weakness and see imperfections harshly in others. However, like all humans, everyone has room to grow. Be willing to help coworkers while also accepting non-perfect support offered - it develops trust and lets go of an impossible standard that isolates.

To apply this at my healthcare startup job, I set aside ego and asked for assistance from teammates when timelines became unrealistic due to excessive revising alone. I also focused feedback to colleagues on effort and learning over flawlessness to encourage collaboration.

Channeling Perfectionism's Drive for Excellence

While imperfect self-acceptance is key, perfectionism's innate drive for excellence should also be channeled constructively. Here are some suggestions:

• Take on progressively bigger stretch goals where success depends more on perseverance over expertise.

• Focus outward by seeking feedback regularly from multiple sources to gain diverse perspectives.

• Set ambitious long-term goals broken into achievable steps that build skills over time through practice.

• Find pursuit-worthy projects involving tasks requiring peak focus but less risk of harsh self-judgment. For example, authoring papers or developing complex solutions.

• Use perfectionism to fine-tune proposals by listening more than prescribing initially so innovations involve collaboration.

• Be willing to take small, calculated risks where failure advances learning and moves motivation past comfort zones into growth areas.

Perfectionists need not eliminate their obsessive work habits but redirect them toward progressive yet sustainable long-term goals. They focus less on reactionary fears and more proactively building expertise through imperfect practice and diverse perspectives.

Leading With Balance and Resilience

For leaders grappling with perfectionism, it is crucial to model balanced self-care as well as poise under pressure. Some final suggestions:

• Schedule dedicated relaxation like exercise, hobbies and time with loved ones. Perfectionism thrives on stress - balance replenishes perspective and fuels resilience.

• Normalize imperfection and mistakes among teammates by openly sharing errors as learning experiences to encourage risk-taking and innovation.

• Avoid procrastinating difficult conversations or decisions due to unrealistic preparation standards. Demonstrate confidence through making well-reasoned, timely choices.

• Do not judge self-worth or abilities harshly during setbacks outside of personal control. See resilience as both the ability to endure strain and to bounce back stronger.

• Celebrate small wins and growth progress publicly as milestones to motivate others facing self-doubt. Recognize effort despite flaws.

Effective leadership involves leading with balance and poise amid chaos. Perfectionistic leaders must accept unpredictability gracefully while prioritizing long-term employee wellbeing over short-term results. By modeling constructive vulnerability, confidence through challenge can be inspired in others.

Conclusion

Though the self-criticism of perfectionism fuels high-caliber work, it can also sabotage potential if left unchecked. With strategic adjustments to ingrained habits and mindsets, leaders grappling with perfectionism can redirect their immense drive in an empowering way that propels learning and growth.

Through flexible, process-oriented goals; self-compassion; challenging unhelpful beliefs; and channeling energy constructively, perfectionists can get out of their own way. By focusing on progress over perfection and modeling balance as leaders, they nurture resilience and build on innate strengths to reach ever-higher levels of accomplishment and fulfillment over the long run.

References

1. Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Blankstein, K. R., & Mosher, S. W. (1991). Perfectionism, self-actualization, and personal adjustment. Journal of Social Behavior and Personality, 6(5), 147-160.

2. Flett, G. L., Hewitt, P. L., Blankstein, K. R., & Gray, L. (1998). Psychological distress and the frequency of perfectionistic thinking. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 75(5), 1363–1381.

3. Stoeber, J., & Otto, K. (2006). Positive conceptions of perfectionism: Approaches, evidence, challenges. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 10(4), 295–319.

4. Damian, L. E., Stoeber, J., Negru, O., & Băban, A. (2014). On the development of perfectionism in adolescence: Perceived parental expectations predict longitudinal increases in socially prescribed perfectionism. Personality and Individual Differences, 68, 30–35.

5. Powers, T. A., Koestner, R., Zuroff, D. C., Milyavskaya, M., & Gorin, A. A. (2011). The effects of self-criticism and self-oriented perfectionism on goal pursuit. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37(7), 964–975.285.

---

Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.

---

Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2025). How Perfectionists Can Get Out of Their Own Way. Human Capital Leadership Review, 22(2). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.22.2.2