22.1 Million Days Lost to Stress. Why “Less Stress” Is the Wrong Goal

In Great Britain, 40.1 million working days were lost due to work-related ill health and non-fatal workplace injuries in 2024/25, with stress, depression or anxiety accounting for 22.1 million of those days.

That is not just a wellbeing talking point. It is delivery risk, decision fatigue, missed deadlines, strained teams and a productivity problem that shows up in the numbers.

The broader economic impact is material too. Poor mental wellbeing is estimated to cost UK employers £42 billion to £45 billion each year through presenteeism, sickness absence and turnover.

Emma Pears has built her work around stress, perspective and mental resilience, with a focus on what people can do in real life, not in theory.

In this interview with the Female Motivational Speakers Agency, she breaks down what stress really is, how strong leaders create a response gap when things go wrong, and the simplest ways to zoom out when your mind is stuck on repeat.

Question 1. What is the most fundamental misconception people have about stress, particularly in high-pressure professional environments?

Emma Pears: “I observe people see stress as something out there, on them. It is almost like they are under attack and they feel this pressure, which is understandable because we do feel it. I think the reality is that stress is not all bad.

“Sometimes the communication out there can be, “Get rid of all stress in your life. Run away from stress. Stress is bad.” The truth is stress will actually keep you alive at times and stress will help us to work to our optimum. The point is not to have no stress.

“The point is to not live in a high state of stress at all times. Stress will help us, particularly as leaders in business, to work at our optimum if we allow it to, if we are harnessing it well. The challenge is not to live in that high state of stress. Also, if you are feeling no stress at all, that could be a challenge, so you need to watch out for that one.

“But I think with stress, the reality is this. It is not an outside force at us. We feel it physically. We feel it emotionally. For me personally, I feel stress on my breathing. I feel heavy in my breathing.

“If I am feeling overwhelmed and stressed and when I see that sign, that is a signal to me to go, “Oh, I need to change something. I need to take stock. I need to act.” Obviously, there is nothing heavy on me. There is not actually an elephant on my chest. It just feels like there is. And that is the reality. Stress is a human experience of emotion.

“Something I have observed is that people believe their emotions, but emotions are not always true. Emotions are not fact. Emotions are actually data telling us something. So, as best we can, I try and help people to recognise what emotion they are feeling and what that emotion then is telling them that they need to be doing or not to be doing, and how they can respond.

“Obviously, there are moments of crisis where you just have to react. But as a general rule, if life is continually stressful, it may be that learning to recover from that high state of stress is one of the priorities.

“Stress is an emotion that we feel, and emotions are data. They are not always fact. I am not saying that what has caused that person’s stress is not true. I am saying we have choices in how to respond to it.”

Question 2. When situations deteriorate under pressure, what differentiates leaders who respond strategically from those who simply react emotionally?

Emma Pears: “We know as leaders things go wrong. They just do. It is about training ourselves to really think before we act. The reality is this. Our thinking informs our feelings, and our feelings inform our behaviours and choices.

“What we can do is use the phrase “What does it matter?” to put a bit of a pause in, put a stop and think, “Hang on, what does it matter?” and allow that pause to help us create some good choices and some good decisions.

“Brilliant leaders tend to think about the bigger picture. What I have seen with people who maybe are not leading is they are seeing everything from their point of view. What is wonderful about brilliant leaders is they tend to see the multiple perspective.

“They tend to see, “Well, from this angle this is going on, but you are unaware of this angle going here.” Leaders who respond to things well are people who have taken things into consideration, who can step back, see the problem as separate from themselves, see the challenge, see the different parts that are moving.

“Brilliant leaders take advice really well. That does not mean you are waiting to be told what to do, but it means we know as humans we do not always have the answer to everything. We are not always right. There could be all sorts of things influencing our behaviour and our choices in that moment. Taking advice from trusted counsel is a really, really good thing to do.”

Question 3. When people become cognitively stuck or overwhelmed, what practical frameworks help them regain perspective and interrupt unhelpful mental loops?

Emma Pears: “Humans often feel stuck in our own heads. From speaking with people within my work life, within my home life, it is just the human experience to feel a bit stuck at times. There are several tools that I have got in the book that I use and that I have shared there.

“Things like the 10-10-10 theory, which is basically where you say, “Will this matter to me in 10 minutes, 10 days, 10 weeks, 10 months, or 10 years?” That helps to put things in perspective pretty quickly.

“Things like the Five to Thrive is another tool I created where we simply ask the question, if you are feeling overwhelmed or you are feeling stuck in your own head: “Is everyone safe, fed, clean, warm, and loved?” Again: “Is everyone safe, fed, clean, warm, and loved?” If so, you are doing all right.

“If not, if the answer to any of those is no, then you know where to focus your energy and attention on what you need to work on to help solve that problem. But if the answer honestly to those questions is yes, you have a moment to take a breath and recognise everything else is a bonus.

“The other thing that we can do when we are feeling stuck in our own heads is we are able to use our own name when we talk to ourselves. If we verbalise things out loud and use our own name, our brain hears it and believes it. So, you can help your brain and tell it what you need to hear. Use your own name. I will say things like, “Emma, this is really important right now.” I will literally talk to myself like that.

“Another thing, which Ethan Cross, brilliant psychologist, puts in his book as well, is the act of awe and wonder being such an amazing thing to help put things in perspective. I use that a lot. I will often go out into nature. I will remember in some way that I am just a tiny human on a spinning planet.

“Not everything relies on me, and I do not have to have everything perfect. I do not have to know all the answers. One of the ways that I do that honestly is I have the sunrise and sunset series. I purposely seek out looking for sunrises and sunsets because it helps to put things in perspective for me.

“Breathing is super important. If you are feeling stuck in your head, I do box breathing, which is like breathing in for seven and then out for eight, down for seven, across for eight. You visualise that box. I do that all the time. There are all these different tools we can use to help calm our nervous system down and allow ourselves to get unstuck from the ruminating that we might have got ourselves caught in.”

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This exclusive interview with Emma Pears was conducted by Tabish Ali of the Motivational Speakers Agency.