By Jonathan H. Westover, PhD
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Abstract: This article examines leaders' reluctance to provide constructive feedback and offers recommendations for overcoming feedback anxiety. The article explores why feedback is uncomfortable, even for seasoned managers. Three main barriers are identified: lack of confidence, fear of conflict, and uncertainty around effectiveness. Best practices are then presented for developing feedback skills through preparation, practice, and reframing criticism positively. Tactics for managing emotions include scheduling feedback, using praise, listening, focusing on solutions, and setting next steps. Establishing consistent feedback structures also boosts impact by promoting responsibility, accountability and continual improvement. Application examples illustrate tangible results, such as increased employee engagement, performance, and retention. Overall, the article argues that dedicating effort to conquering fears around feedback delivery strengthens leadership, cultivates top talent, and drives organizational success.
Throughout my career as a management consultant and university professor, I have witnessed time and time again how leaders struggle with one of the most integral parts of their role - giving feedback to direct reports and team members. As someone who has coached executives on effective communication strategies and conducted research on performance management best practices, I understand that providing constructive criticism is an uncomfortable task for even the most seasoned of managers. However, by facing this fear head-on and learning to give feedback the right way, leaders can significantly boost their abilities to develop top talent, drive organizational change, and achieve strategic goals.
Today we will demystify the feedback process, explore practical tips for conquering feedback anxiety, and illustrate how empowering employees with constructive criticism fosters a high-performance culture.
What Stops Leaders from Giving Feedback?
Before delving into best practices, it is important to first acknowledge why so many individuals in positions of power hesitate to provide performance evaluations and critical feedback. Research suggests there are three main reasons for this reluctance: lack of confidence, fear of conflict, and uncertainty around how to give feedback effectively (Ilgen et al., 1979; London and Smither, 2002).
Lack of Confidence: Many leaders doubt their own abilities to have difficult conversations and worry they lack the communication skills required. They feel unequipped to properly evaluate performance, convey criticism diplomatically, and have a productive dialogue. This lack of self-assurance stifles the feedback process.
Fear of Conflict: Closely related is a fear of conflict or tension. Leaders dread potential defensiveness, denial, or emotional outbursts from the receiver. They want to avoid awkward interactions or damaging workplace relationships. This survival instinct discourages honesty.
Uncertainty Around Effectiveness: Additionally, managers are unsure how to structure meaningful feedback that drives improvement. Without clear guidelines on delivering constructive criticism constructively, they second-guess the value and impact of the feedback they provide. This ambiguity stalls the process.
These underlying fears and uncertainties explain, at least partially, why so many proficient leaders struggle to give candid performance evaluations regularly. However, with focused effort and dedication to continuous learning, one can overcome these barriers and transform feedback delivery into a strength.
Developing Feedback Confidence
The first step is to gain confidence in one's ability to give feedback through preparation, practice, and a positive mindset. Early in my consulting career, I lacked the self-assurance needed due to inexperience. However, through diligent studying of feedback best practices, roleplaying with colleagues, and reframing criticism as a opportunity to help others improve, my self-efficacy grew tremendously over time (London and Smither, 2002). Here are some recommendations:
Prepare thoroughly by outlining a structure, noting specific examples, and anticipating questions in advance. Thorough preparation eliminates anxiety.
Practice delivery with a trusted colleague and get live feedback to refine your approach and build muscle memory. Regular practice builds feedback skills rapidly.
Adopt a growth mindset that views feedback as a chance to partner with employees, not a judgment of their character or potential for success. This shifts one's perspective.
Focus on the feedback, not potential defensiveness. Have faith that emphasizing employee development will lead to openness. Own one's role, not reactions.
With dedicated effort over months, even skeptical managers can gain belief in their abilities to further employees' growth through candid performance reviews and guidance. Preparation, simulated practice with colleagues, and reframing feedback as an opportunity help conquer confidence barriers.
Managing Feedback Anxiety
Beyond building self-assurance, it is also important to directly address underlying anxieties through preparation, empathy, and structure. Some management best practices include:
Schedule feedback in advance so emotions remain regulated. Surprise evaluations amplify anxiety.
Start with praise and appreciation to create psychological safety before criticizing (Rock, 2008). People are more receptive to tough messages after compliments.
listen actively and acknowledge feelings. Paraphrase understanding to show empathy and diffuse tensions (Goleman, 1995).
Keep topics and progress focused to maintain control of discussions at times of high emotion. Stay solution-oriented.
Provide concrete examples and suggest specific actions to boost performance rather than make it personal. This refocuses energy on improvement.
End by setting next steps and timeline for follow-up to build accountability and closure (Huber, 2018). Ongoing support sustains motivation.
Calm, clear communication serves as an antidote for feedback anxieties on both sides. With practice, leaders can deliver difficult messages smoothly and professionally to set employees up for success. While discomfort remains natural, the above tactics help regulate emotions to optimize impact.
Feedback Structures for Effectiveness
Lastly, establishing clear feedback structures fosters consistency, accountability, and tangible impact - eliminating doubts around effectiveness. At a global IT services firm where I consulted, leadership introduced company-wide guidelines specifying:
Quarterly one-on-one review conversations focused on goals, progress, strengths and one area for development
Managers use consistent performance rating scales clearly outlining expectations at each level from "Needs Improvement" to "Exceeds Expectations"
Self-evaluations and 360-degree feedback collected alongside manager assessments for balanced perspective
Calibration sessions held across functions to align understanding and ensure fairness
Post-feedback surveys asking employees for experience and suggestions to continually refine process
By implementing uniform structures, leadership sent the message that feedback was a top priority. Employees felt supported rather than judged. Reviews focused energy on action planning versus defensiveness. Consistency also enabled HR to track development trends and calibrate talent processes accordingly.
Within a year, employee engagement and performance ratings notably increased according to internal survey data. Turnover among high potentials plummeted. Buy-in formed as leaders modeled the importance of feedback through their own example. Structures offered reassurance feedback would drive improvement, not punishment - curbing manager uncertainties.
Overcoming fears around giving performance reviews requires dedicated effort but pays immense dividends. With preparation, practice delivering feedback confidently and managing anxieties carefully, as well as establishing clear structures, leaders strengthen their abilities to cultivate top talent and maximize organizational success. Though an uncomfortable task, feedback truly represents a leadership superpower when done right.
Applying Feedback Lessons in Practice
Allow me to conclude by bringing these learnings to life within a real-world organizational context. As a management consultant, I recently partnered with a Fortune 100 technology company shifting to agile methodologies and needed help driving cultural change. Leadership recognized the move required hyper-aligned goal-setting and continuous performance coaching across newly formed cross-functional teams. However, feedback aversion stifled progress.
After studying best practices and collaborating with senior executives, we codesigned and piloted team-level feedback workshops where managers practiced roleplays and gave peer feedback using video recordings. Workshops emphasized preparing with impact/implementation examples, active listening, and focusing discussions on key result areas rather than personalities.
We also introduced simple yet standardized one-pagers for teams to document strengths, areas for improvement, and quarterly OKRs which formed the basis for regular check-ins. Post-workshop surveys showed manager confidence in delivering feedback to direct reports increased by 30%. Employee surveys after the first review cycle noted clearer role expectations and a heightened shared understanding of team objectives.
Results exceeded expectations. By focusing on application over theory and giving leaders hands-on experience, workshops effectively quelled feedback fears. Standardized templates promoted consistency while emphasizing continuous development over evaluations. Within 6 months, the new agile organization doubled engineering output according to project tracking dashboards. Employee retention also rose, as people felt more invested in a culture of transparent coaching.
In summarizing this case, I hope to illustrate how the lessons discussed can manifest in tangible outputs when thoughtfully applied. By dedicating efforts to conquering its inner feedback demons, this company unlocked agile’s full potential for innovation and growth. The rewards of overcoming that innate fear through preparation, empathy and structured processes create a true competitive advantage for any organization.
Conclusion
I encourage managers to reflect on how they can further strengthen their feedback skills and foster psychologically safe environments where employees feel empowered to improve through honest, forward-looking guidance. While an ongoing challenge, making feedback a priority represents a leadership best practice that few other practices can match in terms of cultivating talent and driving strategic success. I hope the insights and examples shared prove helpful for any executives embarking on this critical talent development journey.
References
Goleman, D. (1995). Emotional intelligence. New York, NY: Bantam Books.
Huber, D. L. (2018). Leadership and nursing care management. Elsevier.
Ilgen, D. R., Fisher, C. D., & Taylor, M. S. (1979). Consequences of individual feedback on behavior in organizations. Journal of applied psychology, 64(4), 349.
London, M., & Smither, J. W. (2002). Feedback orientation, feedback culture, and the longitudinal performance management process. Human resource management review, 12(1), 81-100.
Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. Neuroleadership Journal, 1, 1-9.
Ilgen, D. R., Fisher, C. D., & Taylor, M. S. (1979). Consequences of individual feedback on behavior in organizations. Journal of applied psychology, 64(4), 349.https://psycnet.apa.org/doi/10.1037/0021-9010.64.4.349
London, M., & Smither, J. W. (2002). Feedback orientation, feedback culture, and the longitudinal performance management process. Human resource management review, 12(1), 81-100.https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S1053482202000041
Rock, D. (2008). SCARF: A brain-based model for collaborating with and influencing others. Neuroleadership Journal, 1, 1-9.https://neuroleadership.com/portfolio-items/scarf-a-brain-based-model-for-collaborating-with-and-influencing-others/
Jonathan H. Westover, PhD is Chief Academic & Learning Officer (HCI Academy); Chair/Professor, Organizational Leadership (UVU); OD Consultant (Human Capital Innovations). Read Jonathan Westover's executive profile here.
Suggested Citation: Westover, J. H. (2024). Conquering Your Fear of Feedback: How Giving Constructive Criticism Can Strengthen Your Leadership. Human Capital Leadership Review, 12(3). doi.org/10.70175/hclreview.2020.12.3.4
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